A long time ago. in a galaxy far, far away…
While running errands the other week, I passed by the cemetery in Carnegie where my mentor, teacher, and best friend, Matt, is buried—a place I hadn't visited in quite some time.
I finished my errands and double backed to the cemetery. It’s been years. I really could not say how long. But definitely overdo. Got to the cemetery, parked and went through the wrought iron gates. It’s a small cemetery. Very personal. It’s up on a bluff overlooking the rest of Carnegie. The wind sweeps across it nicely. Matt would have liked it here.
Moving through the cemetery, I was trying to remember where his gravestone was located. I had a general idea but as i walked I started to doubt myself. I stopped, gathered my thoughts, focussed and let my instincts take over. Just like I was taught. And yes, I found it. His name was still prominent but the engraving art to the left of his name was all but gone. If you knew where to look, you could still find the faint traces of his face looking out at you. In a strange way, I feel Matt would have loved this affect. LOL.
A flood of memories hit me. So much to process. The fear I used have in facing him, the pride I developed when I learned I could beat him, the camaraderie of a best friend who do anything for you. Other than Denise, here was the one person that had affected me the most in my life. That shaped me. Trained me. Gave me purpose.
I have grown and learned so much since his passing. I really do not think I would be where I am now in my training had his tragic death not occured. Matt was my crutch. I relied on him. His passing was my first experience with death as an adult. It taught me so much. It prepared me for so much more to come. As I write this, crazy thoughts enter my head thinking, “this was the plan all along….” Little did I realize.
Training changes you. You face the worst situations that people can create. You face the worst situations that you, yourself can create. But in that forge of training, something develops. Something shiny and sharp. The real you is forged stronger and better than before. And you do it along with a community of friends, teachers and students. All who are also going through the same process - to become a better human being.
Ninpo ik kan, my friends…
